Meet the end-of-life angels who prepare the terminally ill on the day of their death


Men and women wonder if their partner has found someone new, and it’s not uncommon for them to feel anxious to replace him. You could call this worry “I bet you’ll end up with Barbara.” As Punt says, “When children are involved, it’s a very emotional situation. Maybe the mother is dying and two small children will be left behind. Who will the father meet and who will be in the mother’s shoes? This can be a serious concern.

“On the other hand, there may be someone who actually allows their partner to go out and find someone and not be lonely. It’s such an individual thing. I think the beauty of what we can do, and the privilege we have, is that we can sit with someone, regardless of their fears, worries, and worries when they die, and we can work with them. ”

Punt tells me about a family she worked with recently (we changed some details because of their privacy), where a married man with a son and daughter was told he had another year to live. His desperate wife came to Maggie’s first, Punt recalls. “He was completely denied and acted as usual, and she tried to fix everything.”

In the end, her husband also came to counseling. Punt and her colleagues then supported the family in starting a number of talks. There was a need to discuss finances, garden plans, and some of the decorations the man wanted to see through. It was about educating their children, at school and at home. “He wanted to show Sun how to shave,” Punt says.

Where appropriate, children were involved in these conversations. They had time with an art therapist to help them express their feelings in a gentle environment. They had the opportunity to sit with their father until the end, and they took it.

The man died at home, Punt says, surrounded by family. “I don’t think the last few hours have been desperately enjoyable. But I think it was as good as it could be. “

What will happen to my family when I am gone?

Mandie Malcolm, 32 years old

I just turned 26 when I discovered it a bump on my chest. Since a lump can be any of several things, I wasn’t too worried. What a shock I experienced when the doctor said it was cancer. Worse, it was a secondary cancer: it had spread aggressively. Shortly after the diagnosis, I was told that I probably had a few more years to live.

It was petrifying. My mom was with me when I received the news, but the worst part was that I shared the news with friends and family. We are very close and everyone supports me, but I knew it must be hard for them too. I always thought about dying and leaving them behind. At the same time, there was so much more I wanted to do, like travel the world.

Mom started using Maggie’s Edinburgh in front of me. When I went alone, I was nervous along the way, but from the moment I entered, everyone was so kind. Thanks to Maggie’s I had a lot of individual consultations and group sessions with other people who went through the same thing as me. I go to yoga for yoga classes and I had a lot of help with finances. There are creepy, complicated forms that need to be filled out to get the benefits, but the Maggie consultant helped me with the paperwork and removed all the pressure. My family also gets a lot of support.

The diagnosis was made six years ago and I am still here. I managed to get through everything I wanted to do, and now I’m just adding things to the list. Po chemotherapy, I had hormone therapy and because my body was lighter, I was able to do things like visit Australia. I ran a marathon and wrote a column for my local newspaper, The Falkirk Herald. After my diagnosis, I thought I would never be able to plan my wedding, just my funeral, but I got married last year – it was a really special day.

A lot of people say, “I know what you’re going through,” but not really. Through Maggie’s, I got a friend, Leslie, who is in exactly the same position as me, and it’s nice to be able to talk to someone like her. One of the worst things is that you feel out of control about what’s going on with your body, and that time is running out.

My outlook on life has changed a lot. Because I’ve spent so many days in bed and I don’t feel good, I really appreciate feeling good. I appreciate every day that is given to me and I want to be surrounded by kind people who enjoy life and don’t procrastinate. Just a long walk with your dog means a lot to me.

I had a lot of different treatments and I was probably starting to run out of them. Things were better than the doctors thought, but I’m still realistic. Every extra birthday is special.

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