Being in a dilemma, at least for me, doesn’t seem like much. But because of those two years of Covid-19, I became aware of the anxiety within myself; he also showed me how capable I am of dealing with him.
I clearly remember the day two years ago – we were on duty and it was announced that the Covid-19 prison would be introduced. That meant we had to work from home. Well, I laughed because it seemed like a joke to me and obviously impossible. We thought it was a month or two; I was wrong because we are now approaching two years of Covid-19. And this virus seems to have taken our lives forever!
Looking back, those two years were nothing more than a toboggan ride. Some of us have lost our loved ones because of this horrible virus, and many of us have realized that the things we took for granted, say our mental health, need to be taken more seriously.
The positive news is that not only do we find it more crucial today, but we have also started working on it.
For me, those 2 years were a little different. During this pandemic, I experienced a major FOMO (fear of delay) and believe me, I have never had it before.
My FOMO was causing me a lot of anxiety
Surely you have heard a lot and said this phrase, “abhi bohot time hai yaar”. And you’ve probably also heard several of them say that this is nothing but a myth; because time is running out and when you realize it, it’s too late. Something similar happened to me during this pandemic. My levels of anxiety touched the roof.
Like many of you, my main goal in life has been to travel the world and do the most unpleasant things I can imagine. But Covid-19 stopped it all!
When I realized that this was not going to end soon, I went to this zone where I felt that at this point in my life (by the way, I am 34 years old) I was missing a few key things. And my mind kept imagining different scenarios that made me feel, what if I didn’t have that zeal in me later? I know I’m not that old, but that’s how anxiety works, right?
It was more awful flipping through those Insta reels that made me worse FOMO. I remember wasting my hard-earned money on impulsive decisions. And I didn’t do it once, but twice. Remember when he took a little break from the Covid-19 cases, just before the second wave? I impulsively booked tickets for Dubai without thinking.
And unfortunately I couldn’t go. The reason was that I tested positive for Covid-19, but here’s the twist. When my test reports arrived, my anxiety reappeared. So, without thinking, I immediately canceled my tickets before I took another cross-checking test.
When I calmed down, I took another Covid test and then another. Both turned out to be negative. Ergghhh! But by then I had already created a mess. Deep down, I knew I wasn’t rational, but I totally blame my anxiety for this crazy behavior!
This was one case, but the fear of missing a lot stayed for almost 7-8 months. It made me feel miserable, worthless and pointless. And everyone knows it’s not good to be.
I felt less productive, too little energy, and it all seemed pointless to me.
I decided I needed to take a cooling pill
Honestly, I still have a paranoid mindset about lost time, and now I’m just telling my mind to relax; because even that will pass. It was not so easy to get into this zone, because when FOMO hits you, it creates a lot of waves even in calm water.
I enrolled in online therapy. I don’t know if it worked for me or not, but I made a little effort to help myself. Here’s what I did:
- Social detoxification: No, I didn’t completely cut myself off because that’s impossible these days, but I stopped comparing myself.
- I speak to myself: I kept telling myself that it wasn’t over yet and that I had to wait to enjoy myself and do what I wanted while traveling. During Covid, these violent trips will also be half ready, and I don’t want that.
- I made a list: I started compiling my own list and I can’t tell you how happy I was about it. I felt so good and positive thinking, which gave me a chance to plan ahead!
- Small celebrations at home: To break the monotony, I planned smaller celebrations, not based on events, but just like that. And that’s when it struck me that sometimes it’s not the place that matters, but the company. I got all my friends online and discussed all sorts of things. It was VERY fun and helped me escape from the land of FOMO.
I will not say that FOMO is a myth because when you lose precious time you will feel that way. But the thing you need to remember is that you need to fight it because you will feel claustrophobic and powerless because of the anxiety it will cause.
So, if you are also in the tug of war between your mind and heart, try to talk to yourself. Because the worst seems to be over, and Covid will now be here with us, just like any other disease – one that can be tackled with a few simple precautions.