How I Move: Author and Content Creator Toni Tone on Growing to Accept and Appreciate Her Body

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I recently went through a weird phase of people commenting on my “happy weight” on social media since I got into a new relationship. In one week, three people sent me different messages. Someone congratulated me and said I can tell I’m pregnant because I’ve gained weight and my face is fuller. I had another person say “I can see your shape is changing” and one mentioned “I look fatter. Are you pregnant? If so, congratulations.” And I thought to myself, that’s so rude. Even if I’m pregnant—which I’m not—be a decent human being and wait until I post it. It’s just rude to refer to people’s weight because you don’t know what let people exist.

I was generally a pretty slim and lean guy, and my metabolism was generally – or was – pretty fast before I hit my thirties. I gained a stone this year and went from a size 8 to a 10 and couldn’t be happier because when I graduated from Brunel University in 2011 when I was 22 – I’m 33 now – I really wanted to get a “Brazilian Butt Lift “, until my mother talked me out of it. I’m not saying I’m against surgery at all, but I think maintenance is very different from a makeover.

But the control over women’s bodies existed long before social media, and in the black community in particular, the “skinny fat” figure is adored, and I didn’t have that growing up. In the 1990s, you would never have seen a plus size woman gracing the cover of a magazine, billboard or campaign. It’s fantastic that things have changed. But I think this change pisses some people off and brings out their inner fatphobia. Although I love my body now and have no desire to change my physical appearance, there is still a need for women to continue to see examples of different body shapes and sizes.

When you work as a content creator—although I’m also a writer—if you’re not thick-skinned or self-reflexive, it’s very easy to define your values ​​based on your appearance. I have so much more to offer the world besides my body that it’s probably the least exciting part of me. If I place so much value on it, what will happen when my body changes when I have a baby or grow into an old woman? My body is a vessel and I must maintain it for the sake of my health.

I come from a very sporty family. My brother, sister and I were the fastest in our years. So when it was sports day at school, it wasn’t a question of whether we would win or not, but which race we wanted to win. We were great at sprints, like 100 meters, 200 meters and relay races – we didn’t like cross-country skiing or long-distance running the most. It’s funny because my parents were the same way when I was a teenager, always winning parent races. Sprinting and athletics were in his blood.

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